Understanding the 5 Stages of Grief
Cremation services Lincolnwood, IL, aren’t an easy subject. Among many uncertainties of life, losing someone you care about or love or both is the most depressing yet inevitable part of life. A time comes in the life of everyone when you have to say goodbye to the person or animal you never thought of living without. Getting past our grief is an important phase of our life and understanding the framework – the stages of grief – that make up our acceptance of the fact that someone close to us has left forever. This article aims to provide insights into these stages to help readers achieve a more peaceful acceptance of someone’s death.
In her book, On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross expounded the five stages of man’s grief which are: denial or isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. People who are mourning don’t necessarily go through these stages in the same order but they do experience all of them one way or the other.
Denial & Isolation
The first reaction to learning about the death of someone you loved is to outrightly deny the situation. “It can’t happen”, “It can’t be true”, people often say on hearing such news. Such a response acts as a defense mechanism and buffers/masks the immediate shock of the tragic loss. Generally, this is a temporary response that occurs during the first wave of pain. Many people tend to isolate or spend time alone to grieve and get past this stage.
As the grieving person starts to accept the reality, his pain remerges and often expressed as anger. He may direct anger at inanimate objects, friends, or family, and in many cases, doctors or healthcare officials, who treated the illness of deceased, if any, become the convenient target of this anger. It is a sign of healing and never hesitate to feel you anger, even at times, it may seem endless.
After short bouts of anger and pain, the bereaved tend to seek a weaker line of defense and feels guilt, that accompanies bargaining through a series of ‘If’ situations like,
- If I had spent more time with him/her.
- If I had done something for him/her
- If I was more affectionate to him/her
- Only if I contacted a better doctor, etc.
These feelings demonstrate his vulnerability, powerlessness, and regret along with incessant pain while his mind reminisces over past memories.
A mourning person can face two types of depression. The first one is temporary when one may be depressed about the burial costs and other arrangements of the funeral, including financial spending, that follow the death of a person. The other type of depression is more subtle when the real pain accompanies him and a part of him feels empty and alone.
Finally, a person accepts the reality and goes back to normal life and makes peace with life. Don’t confuse this stage by ‘All right’ as it is not marked by happiness or devoid of pain, rather the bereaved adapts to new reality and comes out of depression. Reaching this stage is a gift not afforded to everyone. Attending cremation services Lincolnwood, IL, can help you reach this stage.